on the last day
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: Rey can't be present for Luke and Ben's mission to the first Jedi Temple, but she can still watch it happen - and deal with the consequences.


**Notes: Written for day two of Reylo Week - _Light vs Dark_ _._ Loosely based on yesterday's entry, although it works pretty well on its own as well.**

 **/title taken from Moby's _The Last Day_ , which I strongly recommend as a background/**

* * *

On the first day, it was almost a miracle that they managed to have a conversation at all. The connection, when it finally happened, was shaky and unstable and still better than anything Rey had expected.

"Ben!" she exclaimed, trying to keep her excitement to manageable levels – everyone else in the building was asleep, after all. She had been on the verge of the same after the third unsuccessful attempt in a row, too, and it was mostly her determination that had kept her awake. "Where the hell have you been?"

"We found it." Even through the flickering image on the screen, Ben's satisfaction was almost palpable. "It took us so long, but— this is it, Rey. We found it."

He moved away from his seat and suddenly, Rey got a near-perfect view of the planet outside of the ship. It was exactly what she'd expected it to be – bright and overwhelmingly perfect – and she grinned, leaning in closer as if that would help her see better. It was all rocks and moss, really, and the distant hint of an ocean, but it was more than enough in her book.

"And you're sure?"

"Certain. We even found the settlement; it's been here for thousands of yours and abandoned for centuries. Luke wanted to do more research, but it'll be getting dark soon. It's better to wait until tomorrow."

"What's it like? I mean," Rey fished around for the right words to describe the curiosity that couldn't be satisfied with the faint sensations she could catch through the newly discovered but as of yet unexplained bond between them. "Does it _feel_ as powerful as it is?"

"It's the first Jedi Temple." Ben's laugh had an incredulous edge to it. "It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Who knows what it'll feel like when we actually start exploring."

There was something hungry in his eyes; something that usually only came out when he was feeling particularly ambitious. The sight of it – _of him_ – was nearly worth the trouble of being left as the sole guardian of two dozen children like Rey had been, except—

"I want to see it tomorrow," she said, stifling a yawn into her fist. " _All_ of it."

"Of course." If there was one thing Ben was never opposed to, it was learning new things. "Good night, Rey."

"Night," she nodded, eyes closing on their own accord soon after he reached to end the connection but not soon enough for her to miss the 'Love you' that came through just before that.

~.~.~.~

On the second day, Ben took her to see the ocean.

There was no technology separating them this time around. It was still somewhat of a struggle to be able to see his surroundings, but she managed it eventually, just a few minutes after the connection had started. She sat on the sand for what felt like hours with Ben's warm presence by her side, an arm wrapped around him as she looked out into the water, hypnotised by the way it moved. She was vaguely aware that he had work to do – it was highly improbable that Master Skywalker had given him the freedom to admire the scenery while he did all the actual work – but she couldn't bring herself to move, not even when it started getting too warm despite her own, not entirely corporeal form.

But she wasn't distracted enough to ignore the change that had occurred in Ben since last night.

Rey couldn't really put her finger on it. It was some sort of distant, unidentified turmoil that he seemed intent on burying as deep as possible and that was the only push she needed to bring it up. He wasn't usually the type to shy away from his issues.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes, fine." His eyes were locked on the ocean as well. That he wouldn't look at her would have been slightly confusing under normal circumstances, but now felt like another hint that he was lying; another thing Ben wasn't a fan of. "It's just been a long day."

"We can go back if you're tired." It wasn't even a real suggestion – it was the middle of the afternoon for him – but it was the only way Rey could think of to prompt him to elaborate.

"It's not that," Ben said, just as she'd expected, and finally turned to face her, one hand brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face in a caress that felt like a means to an end more than a random burst of affection for once. "Not tiring in that way— _taxing_. There's something under this island and I can't approach it without feeling so—"

"What?" If he was in pain, she would have known; by now, Rey was certain of that at least.

"I don't know. It's strange. It's _ancient_ ; maybe my body has just forgotten how to react to it."

Not impossible, but not particularly likely either. Ben experimented with his hold on his power so often, though, and to Rey's knowledge, he'd never encountered anything like this before.

"What did Master Skywalker say?"

Ben huffed. " _Balance_." The impression of his uncle's usual tone was so bad that Rey couldn't help but smile despite the rising concern. "The Force is strong in this place. Powerful light, powerful darkness, that's how it works, but I've always known that. It hasn't been a problem before."

"So—"

"I won't let it be a problem now either." The interruption came with a kiss; long and sweet and gentler than his usual ones. "You have nothing to worry about."

It took until later the same day – when they'd managed to figure out the mechanics of actual, prolonged touch through their connection, when Rey's arms were wrapped around Ben's neck to bring him closer and his teeth were worrying the skin of her neck with every thrust – that she realised how right she'd been earlier. It felt much clearer now, sharp and dark like a wound in the centre of his mind.

He _had_ been lying and it _was_ a problem and it scared him more than anything else ever had.

The fear wasn't enough to drown out the same desire for more that she knew so well, this time twisted and gnawing and completely unknown.

~.~.~.~

On the seventh day, a week into their stay on Ahch-To, Rey found him sitting in the cave he'd told her about before. It was a dark, grimy place with barely any natural light coming in and it looked cold; colder than even Ben's skin when she eventually managed to touch him.

"Luke thinks I should give it a rest," he said once he realised that she'd sensed his foul mood. "That this shouldn't matter; the Temple was built above because of the power of the place and the resistance that the inhabitants would have to exercise when they came this close to the dark. But it's still—"

He looked paler than before, somehow, his knuckles white as his nails dug into the skin of his palms. Rey retracted her touch quietly, feeling his need for space. It wasn't often that he was this distant, not with her, and it hurt. It made her feel about as desolate and alone as the place itself did.

"That makes sense," she offered. _He's right and I'm scared for you_ didn't seem to be a good choice for the occasion and for the first time in the years they'd known each other, Rey felt the need to be slightly more subtle around him. "If it affects you badly—"

"It doesn't." Ben shook his head, although it was unclear which one of them he was trying to convince. "It's fine. I just wanted to explore it. It's nothing."

"Okay." Rey squeezed his hand again; a parting touch. She felt so tired all of a sudden and it didn't seem to have anything to do with the late hour. "You'll tell me if something changes, right? Me or Master Skywalker, or—"

"Yes." Another brisk nod. "Yes, of course."

The connection dissipated between them.

~.~

On the tenth day, it didn't matter how hard she tried – Rey just couldn't get through.


End file.
